Sunday, May 16, 2010

Birthdays and Orphaned Adults

It is my Birthday. I do not feel as if I am getting old, but my body does not lie. I am often asked if I would want to relive my life. I do not have to think for one second. Absolutely not! Life has been hard. I have learned a lot. Much of it too late to do me any real good, but maybe I can share some of the things I have learned and make life easier for someone else. That is not the way it really works. It seems each of us must make our own mistakes and stumbles throughout life.

I have dealt with a variety of topics this week. The most persistent one was adults who lost their last parent to death. Most of us expect our parents to die within our lifetime, yet when it happens, we are suddenly lost little children---orphaned adults. Everything changes-relationships with other family members, strange feelings and emotions within our being, our identity, and our role within the family. This is true even when the family has been estranged for many years. Many families never make peace with each other and death erases the chance. Sometimes the heavy burden of guilt takes over, making life that much harder.

It seems strange to me that it was 1999 before a book was published on the subject. It is The Orphaned Adult: Understanding and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death of Our Parents by Alexander Levy. It is worth a read even if you still have your parents because the chances are you will become an orphaned adult.

Until next time,

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